Undone Page 29

  “I found out today. As I’ve told you before, social standing is everything. Robert’s elevated birth and status are what shields you from Fouquet. I’m glad he helped you. He has succeeded where I have failed.” His insides writhed. He’d lost her to a noble. Not just any noble, but Robert.

  “I should have been the one to protect you. I should have been the one to marry you and free you from your stepfather’s clutches. Merde!” He turned and raked both hands through his hair, then spun around to face her again. “I cannot even free myself from Fouquet’s hold!” he bellowed.

  She jumped.

  Closing his eyes briefly, he let out a heavy sigh, trying to calm down. “Angelica, you are where you should be, in the upper circle of society. Please…for the love of God…leave this room.” His voice was hoarse.

  Her eyes filled with tears. “Simon—”

  He held up a hand. “Don’t speak. Just leave.”

  “I wish none of this had happened. I wish we were still on the island…”

  The mention of the island only conjured up bittersweet memories. His control snapped. With two quick steps, he grabbed her arm, surprising her.

  Stalking to the door, he wrenched it open.

  He strode briskly down the long corridor until he reached her chamber door. Throwing it open, he entered her room with her in tow. His body trembled. His heartache was so keen, it was eroding his sanity.

  Knowing that Robert’s chamber was the adjoining one, he released her and rasped, “Get to your marriage bed. Go to your highborn husband. There’s nothing left to say between us.”

  “Yes, there is,” she insisted softly. “I will live the rest of my life grateful for having known you, for you have taught my heart to love in a way it has never known. I do love you, Simon.”

  A violent jolt sliced through his turmoil, shaking the ground beneath his feet. He took an involuntary step back, unable to catch his breath. “Don’t,” he whispered.

  He watched a single tear slip down one lovely cheek before she wiped it away. “There is no marriage bed. Robert and I have a mariage de convenance. There has been no other man. Only you.”

  Another catastrophic jolt, her words shattering the fragile hold he had on himself.

  Grasping her arms, he whirled her around, pressed her against the door he didn’t even remember closing, and crushed his mouth to hers. His kiss was demanding, heated, anguished, and desperate. He tasted tears and wasn’t at all certain that they were hers alone.

  He groaned. Softly, she whimpered.

  His heart roared, She’s mine!

  But his mind and conscience balked.

  Self-condemnation rang in his head, growing increasingly louder until he could stand it no longer, forcing him to tear his mouth, with a tortured groan, from the staggering allure of her soft lips. From his beloved.

  He pressed his forehead against the door and closed his eyes, breathing hard. The denied fulfillment, not just physical but emotional as well, was excruciating.

  He delivered a forceful blow to the door with his fist. “I cannot do this.” He drew in a ragged breath, then looked into her eyes.

  She looked as sorrowful and defeated as he felt. He cupped her cheeks. “Angelica…I want you. I love you. But you belong to him. You have married a man I could never betray.”

  A warm tear slipped down her cheek to his thumb. “I could never betray him either.”

  He drew her to him tightly. Burying his face in her chestnut hair, he allowed himself a final moment, one last time to hold her in his arms.

  It took all the will he possessed to release her, breaking contact with her, with the woman he loved and wanted more than his next breath. Placing his shaky hands on her shoulders, he pulled her from the door, opened it, and walked out.

  No less shaken, Angelica closed the door. A flood of tears rained down her face as she slid down the portal, sobbing into her hands.

  In the shadows of the adjoining closet, Robert quietly turned and silently reentered his room.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Jules steadied the pail of water in his hands, positioning it just right. With a swift jerk of his wrists, he poured it precisely on Simon’s sleeping form sprawled out on the bed, fully dressed.

  Simon leaped to his feet, startled, coughing, yet still managing to grab hold of his sword and unsheathe it.

  “What the—” Simon growled.

  “Go ahead. Pierce me with that sword,” Jules barked. “It’ll be the only thing you’ll have done, other than drink yourself to unconsciousness, in two days!”

  Simon sank down onto the edge of his wet bed, his head balking at Jules’s loud voice. He dropped his sword onto the floor with a clank and clutched his throbbing skull.

  “Merde. Get out,” he mumbled, his tongue feeling thick and heavy. Water droplets dripped from his hair.

  “No, I will not. If you wish it so, you will have to remove me.”

  Simon slanted him a jaundiced look. “What the hell are you doing? Can you not leave me in peace?”

  “Peace? Is that what this is? You’re going to end up in an early grave. I’ll not sit back and watch you do it. Your men need you, and Robert has been asking about you since yesterday. Wash. For God’s sake, change your clothes, and then go see him. I’ll not lie for you any longer!”

  “Dieu, stop yelling.” Each loud word knifed his aching brain.

  “Go see Robert, Simon. He deserves better from you than this. Or is it your desire that he should learn you are in love with his wife?”

  “Of course not!” He growled a little too intensely and was instantly punished with a sharp pain tearing through his head. “Merde.” He hissed out through clenched teeth. “I would do anything for him not to learn that,” he said more softly. “He’s far too happy being married to her. I’ll not take that joy from him. I owe him everything.” And everything was what he was giving Robert, for Angelica was everything to Simon.

  Jules sighed. “I’ll see that some food is brought here. Wash and dress quickly. Don’t keep the man waiting any longer.”

  *****

  An hour later, Simon stood outside Robert’s chamber door.

  Having bathed, eaten for the first time in days, and donned clean clothes, he didn’t feel much better. His mind was dull. His headache was only slightly less torturous now than in the hour before.

  Jules was right, though. Simon couldn’t keep imbibing, and he couldn’t remain in Robert’s home either. He decided he was going to leave today. He didn’t want Fouquet to return and find him here, nor could he stay under the same roof as Angelica and watch her be with Robert, the only real father he’d ever known.

  It was surprising to learn that Robert hadn’t consummated the marriage. He could make no sense of it. Robert had a healthy sexual appetite, never passing on an opportunity to bed any beauty. Much less a beautiful wife. Could his injury be more debilitating than Simon had assumed? Robert would never divulge something so unmanning. He was far too proud.

  Whatever the reason for their arrangement, it was undeniable that Robert was happy about his marriage.

  Intent on informing Robert of his departure, Simon took a fortifying breath and rapped on Robert’s door.

  When he entered the chamber, he was unprepared to see Robert lying in his large four-poster bed in the middle of the day. Thick velvet curtains covered the window, shutting out the sunlight. Even from across the room in the dim light, Robert looked gray and frail.

  Stunned, Simon walked up to the bed.

  “Simon.” Robert gave him a feeble smile. “Come, sit with me awhile. I would very much enjoy the company. My wife has spent the last two days reading to me. I sent her away to allow her to rest.”

  Robert’s complexion was even worse close up, and he looked and sounded weak. A disturbing sense of unease twisted in Simon’s gut. Never had he seen this great commander look so depleted.

  He sat down on the edge of the bed. It sagged with his weight. Robert stiffened and growled throu
gh clenched teeth.

  “Robert?” Alarmed by the pain he’d just caused, Simon tried to stand back up, but Robert grabbed his wrist and squeezed. The excessive warmth of Robert’s hand was startling.

  “No, stay,” Robert rasped with his eyes closed, taking a few moments before he opened them again.

  “So what is this I hear about you depleting my supply of wine? Before you say anything, know that Jules has done his best to cover for you, but my servants are loyal to me.”

  Simon remained silent. His dull wits still grappled with the fever he felt coming from Robert’s hand.

  “Only one thing can drive a rational man to such limits,” Robert said with a slight smile. “A woman, no? I remember the other night, at the theater, you wanted to discuss something with me. Would it be about this same female who is costing me my best wine?” he gently teased.

  “That was nothing.” Simon tried to dismiss the subject. Neither of them was in any condition to have this conversation. Besides, Simon was planning to take the secret of his feelings for Angelica to his grave.

  “Judging by the copious amount of wine you have consumed over the last few days, I would say that this ‘nothing’ or rather this woman is very significant to you.”

  If Simon’s mind hadn’t been so sluggish, he would have skillfully changed the subject by now. “It doesn’t matter. She’s married, and she is devoted to her husband.” He prayed his answer would appease Robert enough to end the subject. It was making him uneasy when he was already unsettled by Robert’s condition.

  Robert gave a slight nod. “Simon, I’ve enjoyed life, lived each moment to the fullest. I’ve known the thrill of battle as well as the pleasure of many ladies in and out of my bed. Battle and women can be equally exhilarating in different ways.” He chuckled softly. “By example, I suppose that when it came to women, I never taught you restraint. When it came to a beautiful woman, I was never good at keeping it in my breeches, married or not, and yet, you show restraint with this woman.”

  Dieu, why did he want to talk about this? Could he know? Impossible. Angelica would never tell him. Could someone have overheard them?

  Simon squeezed Robert’s hand and looked into the eyes of the man he loved and respected above all others. “Robert, it is over. She belongs to another. I’ll not interfere.” Just saying the words was excruciating.

  “You have fallen in love, Simon. Don’t try to deny it. When I was your age, I believed it to be a dangerous thing. I believed it weakened a man, clouded his mind, and a leader must stay focused. Lust is much easier to deal with…” He smiled. “Now that I look back, I see what a fool I was. Love is rare. It should be treasured and not taken lightly, or for granted.”

  Simon didn’t speak, not trusting his voice. Talking about this and seeing Robert in this state was too much to bear.

  Robert tried to shift his body, then growled with agony. Simon’s stomach clenched.

  “Merde, this leg is killing me. Those fools who call themselves physicians cannot seem to do anything to improve the situation. I have chewed tobacco leaves, as they’ve suggested, smoked tobacco and opium too, but the pain persists.”

  Simon couldn’t leave him now. Not in this condition. “You’re as strong as an ox and as stubborn as a mule. This leg injury is nothing compared to other challenges you have encountered at sea, overcoming every one of them.” He refused to entertain any thoughts of losing him.

  Robert gave him a weary smile.

  “Now then,” Simon rose off the bed carefully. “I shall leave you to rest. Be quick about your recovery. Do not keep your lady waiting. You have a wife who cares for you.”

  *****

  Three days later, Simon briskly made his way to Robert’s chamber, fearful that something would happen to him in his absence from the room.

  Though he didn’t wish to have Angelica bear the suffering alone, he’d been forced to leave Robert’s bedchamber when he was informed that more of his men had arrived and needed to speak to him. He had a small army assembled at hand and had received the most interesting information from his spies in Fouquet’s household. But he’d done nothing more than digest it. Right now, his focus was on Robert.

  Over the last few days, Robert’s fever had wavered from alarmingly high to warm. His two physicians had bled him several times each day. The powerful emetics they’d administered purged his system but had done little to combat the fever.

  Angelica stepped out of Robert’s room.

  “How is he?” Simon asked.

  Angelica shook her head. Tears glistened in her eyes. She’d been strong for Robert, showing the extent of her worry only outside his chambers.

  They were both overwhelmed with feelings of helplessness, drained emotionally and physically.

  Seeing her look as lost as he felt, he wanted to pull her into his arms to comfort her, or perhaps to comfort himself, but he was afraid that if he touched her, he would succumb to total discomposure.

  Disregarding the physicians’ warnings to stay out of the sick room, they had remained with Robert, cooling his fevered brow with damp cloths, reading to him or just sitting near him. There were rare moments when he was not in so much pain, sleep would mercifully take hold.

  It was killing him to watch this strong man diminish before his eyes.

  “He isn’t doing well at all today. I’m afraid…” Her words died. A few tears escaped down her cheek. He fought back the urge to break down as well. He was devoid of any words that would offer consolation.

  She looked up at him and quickly wiped her tears away. “He is awake. He wishes to speak to you.”

  When Simon entered the room, Robert’s two physicians, along with Jules and Armand, stood solemnly around the chamber’s perimeter. A few servants softly wept in the far corner. As he approached Robert, Simon’s stomach fisted. Robert had writhed in agony most of the night. Except for the dark circles under his sunken eyes, his complexion was colorless, despite his fever.

  “Simon,” he rasped. “Sit close to me. I must speak with you.”

  Carefully, Simon sat down on the bed, trying to cause as little movement as was possible. Despite his effort, Robert cried out. Simon closed his eyes, Robert’s pain stabbing through him.

  With surprising strength, Robert gripped Simon’s hand and squeezed. He snapped his eyes open. The display of vigor was more in character with the man he knew.

  “Simon, come closer.”

  Carefully, he leaned forward. Robert covered their clasped hands with his other and ordered the physicians, and servants to leave. Jules and Armand remained.

  Once the door was closed, Robert began to speak. “Your men love you, Simon, and that is because of the man you are. They respect you and would do anything for you. I want you to swear to me that you will bring down Fouquet. He cannot be left unchecked any longer. Make him pay for all he has done. Do what you must. Promise me!”

  Simon tried to swallow despite the lump in his throat. “I promise to do everything in my power to see it done.”

  “Angelica… You must swear to protect her.”

  “I swear.”

  Robert nodded and released one of his hands from Simon’s, his strength waning. “I know, Simon.” His voice was soft. “I know that Angelica is your love. No, don’t say anything. Just listen well, my son, for that is exactly what you are to me. Only a true son would make the great sacrifice you were willing to make for me. You respected my marriage and therefore respected me. Now I ask this of you before your men as my witnesses: marry her. When I am gone, do not waste precious time mourning me. You deserve to be ennobled. You mustn’t stop until you gain your Letters from the king. Swear to me you’ll gain them and marry Angelica.”

  “Robert—”

  “Swear to me you’ll gain them and marry her. Swear it!”

  “I swear,” he whispered, not trusting his voice.

  Robert seemed to relax. “I’m a lucky man. I’ve had a good and full life.” His voice quavered. “You are the son I alwa
ys wanted…and she is the beautiful, beloved wife I’d wished for in my later years. She has brought warm sunshine into my last days… I have told her that she has been an unexpected miracle in my life. I love you both… It is my wish that all I possess go to both of you. Sorbon will be yours upon my death, but you must have nobility to bear the title. Get it. Marry Angelica. I want my titles to pass to you, my son.”

  “Robert, please—” He couldn’t take much more.

  “You were my only family… You have made me proud… Raising you into the man you are today has given me a sense of purpose and fulfillment in my life… Simon…there is no limit to what a man can achieve except the limits he places on himself… You must believe it… Make…Louis listen to you…”

  Simon swallowed hard, fighting to hold back the tears he could never shed before the man on the bed.

  Something in the corner of the room caught his attention. He turned to see Angelica standing near Jules, looking no less stricken than he felt. He’d no idea when she’d entered the room but sensed that she’d heard much of what Robert had said.

  Simon returned his attention to Robert, who was gazing up at the ceiling, a faint smile on his gray face, seemingly unaware of her presence in the room. “Simon…the pain is subsiding…”

  Alarmed, Simon squeezed his hand, not ready to let him go. “Robert!”

  “Ah, what…I wouldn’t give…to see the day…our king ennobles you…” Robert drew in a ragged breath and closed his eyes as the air slowly expelled from his lungs. And his grip gently relaxed in Simon’s hand.

  “Dieu…” he moaned, overtaken with grief. He bent his head, pressing the back of Robert’s hand against his forehead as a single tear slipped from his eye onto Robert’s wrist.

  Angelica rushed to Robert’s side. “Robert!” She grabbed his arm.

  Simon looked up at her. “He’s gone.”

  Her composure finally broke. “No. Robert…” Her knees collapsed to the floor. She sobbed into the mattress, her arms folded around her head.

  Simon rose to his feet on shaky limbs. Before he could offer her any comfort, there was a knock at the door. The two physicians walked in.